You know you own a puppy if:
Strangers of all ages approach you confidently on the street.
You always keep treats and poop bags in your pockets
Your carpet is covered with pieces of toys that turned out not to be indestructible after all.
You take great pains not to leave anything of value within dog reach.
Your laptop stops working because the power cord has been chewed.
You find new holes in the back garden every day.
You are always on the alert for the sound of gnawing.
You panic if you suddenly remember that you slipped your sandals off in the family room and forgot to pick them up.
You find a trail of sandal parts in the next room.
Your jeans have holes in the fabric.
The plastic ends of your shoelaces have been chewed off.
Your heels are being nipped while you're kneeling on the carpet cleaning up poop.
You have become an expert at repairing leashes.
You have been throwing the ball for 45 minutes and the dog still isn't tired.
You leave the room for a minute and hear piteous squealing through the closed door.
You look under the bed for a lost toy and discover that the bed stuffing has been pulled out through a large hole.
You spend half your day at the dog park.
You have learned not to wait "just a minute" before taking your puppy outdoors.
She gazes soulfully into your eyes, and nothing else matters.