Be Careful What You Name Your Dog!

It appears that most of us have given our dogs names that are not only inappropriate, but harmful.

Dogs rarely have dog names these days. They have people names. Max, Molly, Charlie, Lilly, and Jake are all popular. Fido and Rover are almost unheard of.

This is wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Zoe Williams, writing for the Guardian, explains to us that giving our dog a human name is merely an attempt to demonstrate our social status to our peers. In addition, the more we think of our our dogs as human, the less likely they are to do our bidding. Her (presumably obedient) dog is named Spot.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/jul/29/pets-names-dogs

Zoe Williams with Spot 

The damage was already done when we adopted Caitlin. Ignorant of the consequences, we thoughtlessly didn't change the name she already had. No wonder she is so stubborn and disobedient.

What's more, we've ruined her chances at agility by failing to supply her with a speedy name.

According to Melanie Miller, who owns an agility training school, "In agility, especially with Border Collies, you want a name that evokes speed and a lack of control...Something like Pyro or Blast shows people that this dog is a serious competitor."
http://www.dogchannel.com/dog-magazines/dogfancy/dog-channel-exclusive/dog-fancy-exclusive_2007-04/dog-names.aspx

Does this look like a "Pyro?"

At least her name wasn't Rocky. A survey of dog bites in San Francisco revealed that more people were bitten by dogs named Rocky than by dogs of any other name. In case you're wondering, Mugsy, Max, and Zeke were also highly likely to bite. Fido didn't bite anyone, but that may have been because there was only one Fido registered in San Francisco at the time of the survey. And with a name like that he would have been a good and obedient dog.
http://petrix.com/dognames/examiner.html

How much trouble might we have been spared if only Rob had named his sons Bowser and Tramp instead of Paul and Mark?