1:15 a.m. Caitlin is Whimpering in Her Crate

8:30 p.m. Rob asks me to wake him at 4:45 a.m. He is going shooting in the desert with one of our previous employees, who will pick him up at 5:15.

9:20 p.m. I lock Caitlin in her crate, drop into bed exhausted after last night's drama, and fall asl eep within seconds.

1:15 a.m. Caitlin is whimpering in her crate. I wake up and put my bathrobe on. I go to the kitchen and grope around in the dark until I find her leash. I return to the bedroom and turn on the bathroom light to try to find my slippers. Rob wakes up and fusses that the light is bothering him. I turn off the light grapple with the latches to Caitlin's crate in the dark. I take her out to the front garden. She pees. My sister comes out of her bedroom to see whether anything is wrong. I put Caitlin back into the crate. I put my slippers and her leash on the chest of drawers.

1:32 a.m. Caitlin's whimpering wakes me. I retrieve her leash and my slippers and take her outside again. She wanders around the garden for a few minutes, then squats as though to poop. I can't tell for sure whether or not she succeeds. We return to the bedroom and I put her back into the crate. I put my slippers and her leash on the chest of drawers.

1:54 a.m. Caitlin's whimpering wakes me. I retrieve her leash and my slippers and take her out. She pees. I return her to the crate and put my slippers and the leash on the dresser

2:25 a.m. Caitlin's whimpering wakes me. I take her out. She pees, then asks whether I'd like to go for a walk. I return her to the crate and put my slippers and the leash on the dresser.

3:07 a.m. Caitlin begins whimpering again. I ignore her. She begins rattling the metal. I ignore her. She starts gnawing loudly on the wires. I retrieve her leash and my slippers and take her out. She squats, and I hear and smell the unmistakable evidence of diarrhea. I decide not to put her in the crate again. I no longer care whether she wakes the neighborhood with her barking. I put her leash and my slippers on the chest of drawers and return to bed. Caitlin is sitting in the middle of my pillow. I push her away. The pillow smells like poo. I turn the pillow over and fall asleep.

4:15 a.m. I wake up, look at the clock, and think, "I need to wake Rob in just a few minutes."

5:05 a.m. I wake up and prod Rob. He leaps out of bed shouting, "Shit! They'll be her in 10 minutes. I wanted to have some breakfast before we left" I volunteer to make his breakfast while he gets dressed. I put my robe and slippers on and stagger out to the kitchen.

5:13 a.m. I crawl back into bed, dumping my clothes on the floor. Caitlin is asleep beside me. I hear Rob in the kitchen for a few minutes, then silence. I fall asleep.

5:32 a.m. Caitlin seems to be using the bed for a trampoline. I'm too tired to care. I ignore her.

5:37 a.m. Caitlin licks my face. I burrow deeper into the pillow and ignore her. A minute later I hear her go out the dog door. I fall asleep.

5:54 a.m. I am awakened by the sound of fabric being rent apart, a sound I have come to know well in the last four months. Caitlin is in the dining room, expertly ripping the sole off my left slipper. I get up.