Sunday, October 28, 2012

How Will Your Dog Vote?

Since the current political campaign seems to have gone to the dogs, I thought I'd try to find out what the dogs' opinions might be.

They seem to be pretty solidly in the Obama camp. I found websites for Dogs For Obama and Dogs Against Romney. Pets in favor of Obama have a Facebook page, too, which I didn't look at because I don't have a Facebook account and am too lazy to ask Rob to check it out on his Facebook account.

If you click on Dogs for Obama, you get to a commercial website for liberals that explains how Romney drove his car with his dog in a crate on the roof in 1983 and offers to sell you a t-shirt with this logo:

Dogs Against Romney sends you to another commercial website with a much wider selection of dog-themed goods for sale, such as this particularly tasteful one:

Politically motivated dogs can also buy campaign buttons targeted for their breed:
I found a website on which Jim Coniglione, a professional poop-scooper, predicts a win for Romney based on the characteristics of the dog poop that he has been scooping.

On the same website, a non-partisan company, fittingly named Therapoo, will sell you poop bags with a picture of the candidate of your non-choice:

The Republicans don't seem to have cottoned on to the commercial potential of the dog vote.. They do offer a few posters for dogs who are concerned about being served up at a White House dinner (since Obama has admitted to having once consumed dog meat).

Maybe the Republicans have decided not to target the canine vote because they know that practically all the dogs who have registered to vote are Democrats. Republicans in Texas (and 25 other states) have gone to considerable lengths to disenfranchise canine voters by passing laws requiring a government-issued photo i.d. in order to vote--but the Department of Justice is trying to get these laws overturned, claiming that such a requirement amounts to a "poll tax" that would disenfranchise poor people as well as dogs. To prove this allegation they published a long list naming the Texans who would be unable to cast a ballot under the new law. The list included 50,000 dead people as well as former President George W. Bush and Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, but (I am happy to report) no dogs were found on the list.

There are a couple of other (hopefully minor) challenges for prospective canine voters. Some of the dogs that received filled-out registration cards were dead. Hopefully they can still vote by absentee ballot.

Another difficulty is raised by dogs who plan to vote for Obama's dog, Bo, rather than for Obama himself. That would require a write-in vote on the ballot. Do you suppose they could give power of attorney to a human proxy who could then represent them at the ballot box? We are challenging the limits of the voting laws here.

To be on the safe side, I think we should start pushing for a photo i.d. on all dog licenses, so that if it should be required in California, our dogs will still be able to vote for the candidate of their choice.